Dancing my way through the warm and cold things, and loving half of each.
I'm a dancer. It's officially a constant.
There’s always a difference between not wanting to talk, and not feeling like you can. It’s not like I don’t feel like I can’t talk to anyone, because there are wonderful people I can talk to about anything. The ironic thing is that the one I’m pretty much the closest to is the one I can’t really talk to. And here’s some more irony. I’m not sure I even really wanted to until I realized I couldn’t. That I couldn’t because even after everything I’m still ashamed. I’m still embarrassed. I don’t want to be ashamed anymore. I don’t want to talk. But I have to. We have to… or else I don’t know what will happen. Or else I’m not sure if it will be good for me to stay. I’m not sure if it’ll be good for them either.
Because as much as I’d love to write this off as something unimportant, it’s making me not want to care, and that’s when everything starts to fall apart.
Some things we don’t talk about,
Rather do without, and just hold a smile.
Fallin’ in and out of love, ashamed, and proud of.
Together all the while…
We’re pulling apart, and coming together
again and again.
We’re growing apart, but we pull it together
pull it together again and again.
Don’t let me go.
-Miss the bus
-Become subject to racist jokes first thing in the morning when I’m not in the mood.
-Lose my Spanish homework
-Someone thinks it’s a good idea to put THEIR lock on MY gym locker.
-My best friend thought it’d be hilarious to “borrow” my phone for longer than 24 hours… lolwut? I will cut you…
-Take the Trig Regents
-Have to wear obnoxious orange shorts to rehearsal
-Don’t have a sports bra to wear to a JUMP-ROPING number in rehearsal.
-Parents don’t believe it’s important to pick me up
-Call friend for a ride
-Get bitched at by parents for getting a ride from someone else
-Get e-mailed and told that the portion of an assembly I’ve been planning for months, and my groups time is being cut to 5-7 minutes.
-Deal with that ^^^
-Stay up till 1 doing homework.
-Wake up at 4:30 to finish homework
Yesterday shouldn’t exist.
For the past 16 months of my life, you have put me down, mocked me, and made me feel like a loser. But tomorrow, I’m ready for anything and everything you throw at me.
Prepare to be annihilated.
I’m glad for the rain. Even if it is January and most are just wishing for snow. I feel like I need some rain right now. Just a day where it pours and drenches everything. Everything that I’m finally ready to let wash away. So that I can start fresh and clean and at peace with everything, and everyone, and most of all, with myself.